Since I started coaching clients on getting clear about their truth, their mission and their brand, it’s become really clear that there is a tug of war going on in many of you, one you may not even realise you are enduring.
When you are a solopreneur working to establish yourself as a force to be reckoned with online, much of the advice you receive is be generous. Retweet or promote other people vastly more than you do yourself. Comment regularly on other blogs to increase your exposure to potential readers. Share, converse, discuss and be human.
But when you share or comment, are you paying attention to what you are actually saying about your brand in the process?
As a woman, I am particularly aware of how I reveal personal information about myself in order to build empathy with other people. (I tend to say way too much.) Men tend to be more guarded about personal information. Ladies, we use it to bond.
But while this can be a good strategy for some of us some of the time, it’s not so great when you are trying to be a leader.
A leader needs a whole range of skills, but two of the most important are authority and empathy.
When a leader has too much of one and not the other, you get bullying on one end of the spectrum, and perceived weakness at the other. This is a fine line – being able to relate and empathise with the people you lead while at the same time, inspiring them with the confidence that you know what the hell you’re doing, that you know the road better than they do and that you’re confident enough to be able to take them along with you.
You are showing your tribe how it’s done and empowering them to be able do it themselves.
This is leadership – and you need it to be an online expert
When you are building The Brand Of You, you are walking this leadership tightrope every day.
It really doesn’t matter what niche you are in, but it goes without saying that if you are building a personal brand, you must have authority. Readers must be convinced that you know what you’re talking about. And if you want them to buy from you, then they have to believe you are an expert.
Equally, if you want people to feel there is a real person inside this brand you are building, then you have to empathise and open yourself up in order to reveal your heart. Your passion is important. Vulnerability is powerful – sometimes the post that gets the most attention is the one that reveals the most struggle and hurt.
But think carefully about how you walk this fine line…
When you leave a comment on a blog, pay close attention to the message you are sending. Are you amplifying the author’s message with a unique contribution of your own? Or are you accidently damaging your own authority by choosing words that paint you as more the client than the coach?
Every time you go to share a tweet about a difficulty you’re having, think twice. Is it really in your interest to reveal this? Will the quick emotional fix of bringing people closer to you through bad news really work for you in the long term?
Instead, focus on reframing your difficulties in an empowering way. Turn what you want to say into something that will take your tribe on a journey of discovery – where the struggle and stuck is always in the service of your solution.
Let me clear, this is not a call to be something other than yourself. I don’t suggest you pretend – but I do suggest choosing consciously how and what you reveal.
So while it’s super important for you to be authentic and sing your truth to the world in your way, if you are trying to create a business based on you as your brand, then it’s vital you stay in conscious control of how you are expressing that truth.
Online, you have the ultimate freedom in being able to create and reinforce the brand that you want for yourself and your business. Are you spreading your message in an intentional way? Are the conversations you are having in public reinforcing the image you are depending on to keep your business alive? Or are you unknowingly shooting yourself in the foot by what you reveal?
Pssst…I launched my Divatastic Consulting packages a few days ago to absolutely zero fanfare, mainly because I’m averse to big launches which for a diva like me is a little unusual. (The spotlight is more in my head, you know?)
So don’t click here unless you’re ready to work with me, and you have a sneaking suspicion that I could help you become more divatastic, more focused and fearless in pursuit of your truth.
Natalie inspires with the scale and depth of her ideas -- and then accomplishes them, with impressive speed and flair. She is a compelling communicator, with an enviable way of getting straight to the essence of an idea and explaining it with such provoking clarity that you can’t help but be moved to think, see and act differently.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve been struggling with this balance because I tend to lean toward the TMI side of the scale and don’t feel comfortable putting myself out there as an Expert. But that was about blogging. I never even thought about how I come across in comments. Lots to think about!
p.s. Wonder how many people will comment on this post, lol!
Anything we do online is a reflection of ourselves. Every comment or tweet adds up to a giant join the dots picture of us.
And comments on this post- that did cross my mind!
There’s another side to this too, that’s being true to who you really are…
I think we do need to be aware of how we put ourselves out there, but at the same time, we need to be ourselves. The more real someone is, the more I’m drawn to then and their business.
Ah yes – this is where it gets interesting. You already know how passionately I believe in being yourself and being real. But if you are your brand, where do you draw the line between what is good for your business and what is good for you? It’s not about pretending to be something that you are not. It’s about choosing conciously what to reveal and how to reveal it in a way that serves you.
Great post Natalie! I think it’s a really difficult line to place and it takes some trial and error, as well as remaining aware about what you feel comfortable with. I’m still not sure where that line comes for me (i feel uncomfortable with the idea of being a ‘leader’ still) but I think when people go on about the importance of authenticity, that gets misinterpreted as ‘revealing all’ when actually having boundaries between personal and professional life is totally healthy.
Well I think I will just say ‘Ditto’ to all of the above!!
I’m a shocker for reading posts/articles/newsletters/blogs …(you get the idea!!) …however due to time restraints I often don’t comment …. and have recently been attempting to leave more comments …now I’m scared sh**less about what I’ve said!!
Just joking (weird Aussie sense of humour!!)
However on a more serious note, I thought this was a brilliant article Natalie.
I am definitely like LaVonne : TMI (having said that; I adore LaVonne and hope she never ever changes how and what she says!!)
I am still ‘new’ in many ways to all this ‘social media stuff’ and my blogs are definitely TMI …. however; I am not a leader, expert or brand at this stage but am someone struggling ( after a lifetime of ‘silence and giving’ ) to ‘find my authentic self and voice’ with passion …
So learning to even speak about my self has been challenging!!
Wise counsel ~ for me to take on board ~ from you once again Natalie!!
Thank You
warm hugs
TMI! Don’t be afraid of giving too much information…just be conscious of how you are framing it. And it’s more important sometimes to just practice asserting your right to speak and be heard before starting to fret about what you say and how you are saying it. I wish you all the fearlessness in the world when it comes to speaking your truth! x